Indecision
by meepbeep
Summary: Gakuto doesn't know what to do when Hiyoshi confesses to him, so he accepts him. Little does he know that he is also hurting a certain special someone by doing so.  GakuxOshi. Slight GakuxHiyoshi. Based on my own recent experience.


_11.03.31 note: i had this chapter done... a while ago... but then ff dot net went all psycho and i couldn't publish it TT^TT but finally, i can post it, and i'm so happy! because i'm happy with this. it really does portray my feelings nicely._

_heii everyone! it's been awhile, ne? well... not THAT long i'm hoping... anyways... a new chaptered fic xD my second attempt . the first one didn't turn out so well, did it? i mean, i'm not even done with kami-sama and i've started a new fic... i apologize. but this was ingrained in my mind, because it reflects my own story. so i HAD to write it. it lessened the pain. i hope you enjoy it, i'm quite happy with it, but please give me your opinion *wink* _

_the next chapter hasn't even been started... so don't think i'm going to be updating tomorrow... but i'll try to update as soon as possible... and i'll try to write more kami-sama, at least... try to finish it so it's somewhat complete... and i'll try to write some more second chance... even though, that's only in it's first chapter... but. i promise, i'll try ^^_

_so, please enjoy my slightly angsty fic xD_

_DISCLAIMER: i don't own Prince of Tennis, if i did... ohohohohohoho ;D_

* * *

"I like you Mukahi-senpai."

Gakuto was stunned. He would've never guessed that Hiyoshi, his junior from the tennis club, would like him like _that_.

Gakuto couldn't fall in love. It wasn't that he wouldn't, he couldn't. At least, that's what he told himself. Three years ago, in his third year of middle school, his heart hadn't been broken, it had been shattered, and he had lost all abilities to love.

But here, in front of him, was his favorite underclassman, how could he cruelly reject him like Kano-kun did to him three years ago? He couldn't. So instead of rejecting Hiyoshi, he merely said, "Give me some time."

And he thought about it, daily. There wasn't a good reason for him to reject Hiyoshi. But, there also wasn't a good reason for him to accept him. So Gakuto did what he always did when he had a dilemma, he went to consult Oshitari Yuushi, his neighbor and childhood friend.

Yuushi was two years older then him, a sophomore in college. But since Yuushi went to Toudai, he still lived at home. Yuushi had always been that wise older person that Gakuto always looked up to.

* * *

"So," drawled Yuushi, looking thoroughly amused, "your kouhai confessed to you? And he's a guy?"

Gakuto nodded.

"And you don't know if you should reject him or not?"

Gakuto nodded again.

"Well, I would say, listen to your heart."

Gakuto looked skeptical, "That's so cliché Yuushi."

"But that's who I am, right?" Yuushi said with a chuckle.

Gakuto nodded, yet again.

"Thanks Yuushi, I think I know what I'll do now. I don't know, maybe I'll start liking Hiyoshi once I go out with him?" Gakuto laughed happily.

Yuushi smiled gently, and Gakuto bounded out the door.

And Yuushi looked crestfallen.

* * *

_Why did Gaku take it that way? He wasn't supposed to. I mean, I've loved him all these years, and this Hiyoshi guy just confessed to him without thinking about the repercussions. I mean, confessing could easily ruin the balance of friendship. That's why I've never laid claim to my Gaku._

_Gakuto is mine. Eventually, he'll realize it. He'll realize that he and I are meant to be, and he'll come running back to me, like he always does._

Yuushi drifted off the sleep.

* * *

Gakuto felt bad. Hiyoshi had summoned all his courage to confess to him, so he felt he should return the favor. So, he called out to Hiyoshi after tennis practice. Hiyoshi's eyes sparkled with excitement as he followed Gakuto to the back of the clubroom.

He turned to Hiyoshi blushing, and stammered out, "I, I like you Hiyoshi."

Hiyoshi beamed, and hugged Gakuto, whispering softly, "I love you."

Gakuto leaned into the embrace. It didn't matter. It didn't matter that from now on, he would be living a lie. It was okay; Hiyoshi was a good person. It was okay; Gakuto would fall in love with him.

* * *

It had been a month since Gakuto and Hiyoshi had started going out. They were constantly together, and Hiyoshi hugged Gakuto whenever he got the chance.

But Gakuto never let Hiyoshi touch his lips. It had been decided since the beginning. Gakuto decided that the kiss would be after he fell in love with Hiyoshi. So it should be soon. He was sure of it.

* * *

Gakuto's mother, Mukahi Hikari, and Yuushi's mother, Oshitari Arisa had been best friends in college. Because of this, Hikari would check in with Yuushi once in a while. Arisa and her husband had moved back to Okinawa because Yuushi was already in college and supposedly quite capable of taking care of himself.

And Hikari also knew one key piece of information; Yuushi had been in love with her son for at least five years.

* * *

"Yuushi-kun," Hikari said, walking into Yuushi's living room, where he was currently residing.

"Hm?" he asked, raising his head to look at her.

"You know," she began carefully, "Gakuto has a boyfriend now."

"Oh?"

"I just thought, that you'd want to know."

"I know, he came to me for advice."

"And you suggested that he go out with Hiyoshi-kun?"

"I didn't. I merely told him to listen to his heart."

"And?" Hikari was curious now.

"I didn't think, I didn't think that he would take it as accepting Hiyoshi! He was supposed to…" he trailed off.

"Supposed to fall in love with you and choose you?" Hikari finished.

Yuushi's head snapped up, "I – "

"Don't deny it Yuushi-kun. You've been in love with Gakuto for at least five years."

"Seven," he whispered.

* * *

Gakuto was unhappy. Not depressed unhappy. But just, not happy. Ever since he had started going out with Hiyoshi, Yuushi had been ignoring him. Whenever Gakuto knocked on Yuushi's door, he was never home. Whenever Gakuto called Yuushi's number, he would never pick up. And when he had _finally_ found Yuushi, he had told him to leave him alone, and go back to his boyfriend. The way Yuushi had sneered out the word 'boyfriend' made Gakuto sad. Why couldn't Yuushi just accept him?

Because Yuushi was the person he usually turned to for advice, he had no choice but to confide in his mother.

"Okaa-san, do you know why Yuushi's always ignoring me now?" Gakuto pouted.

Hikari hesitated in telling Gakuto the true reason. The matters between her son and Arisa's son should be resolved between the two of them.

"I think," she said, "that you should go talk to Yuushi-kun yourself. I don't really know what's going on in his head."  
Gakuto nodded, his face still looking troubled.

* * *

"Gakuto, are your hands cold?" Hiyoshi asked shyly.

"Not particularly," Gakuto responded.

"Oh…" Hiyoshi trailed off, looking embarrassed.

Revelation dawned on Gakuto and he realized that all Hiyoshi wanted to do was hold his hand. Gakuto smiled, and took Hiyoshi's hand in his own.

"You don't have to ask when you want to hold my hand silly," he said cheerfully.

"Ah, okay Gakuto," Hiyoshi said smiling.

Gakuto ignored the feeling of Hiyoshi's hand being uncomfortable in his. As if the hand he _should _be holding was a different one, a hand that was actually warmer than his own.

* * *

Gakuto sat slumped on his bed. He couldn't do it anymore. The fake laugh, the fake smile, he couldn't do it anymore. It strained him. It made him, so sad on the inside. Everything Hiyoshi did for him, was supposed to make him happy. But instead, all it did was make him sick inside. That he was lying to pure and nice Hiyoshi. That he was lying to everyone at school, that he was lying to himself. He felt like puking.

Yuushi. Only Yuushi could make it better.

So he grabbed his coat and ran out into the chilly night air, sprinting towards Yuushi apartment.

* * *

_that wasn't half bad was it? please tell me! review! and i love you dearly ;)_

_~kirikira_


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